Voice
by Kang Xiu
Summary: Whoo! Love me! It's Tamahome poetry, and it doesn't bash him - in fact, it's quite on his side. See? I can be a good girl when I want to. It's from the OVA, when he's tossed out of the shrine (Spoilers, right)


Tamahome poem from after he is thrown out of the Suzaku shrine when he returns to Konan in the OVAs. (That was supposed to be a sad scene, but I think I was laughing. I dislike Tama-boy more than a little. Sorry, don't flame for it)  
  
Voice  
  
When sorrow wells up  
I used to say, "it will be all right" and   
I believed it.   
But this time  
It won't be resolved  
It can't be changed  
I am a warrior of Suzaku. I bear the mark of the "oni". I am  
A phoenix's fighter  
What's happening?  
I walk a road paved with dirt the dirt of ages. I am dirt on this road  
I am nothing now. Nothing  
I want to scream and fight and escape. I want to cry and rage and push out.  
But instead I will walk the dirt of this road and in silence with my head bowed  
I believed I was one of Suzaku's chosen. They all thought so  
When they saw me. Everyone knew.  
"Tamahome! Tamahome, you came to see me!"  
And he was so happy, that prince. That child - successor of my  
Friend and enemy and king. He thought  
That his hero had come.   
I thought I had too  
But thoughts are easily ground to dust  
And dreams can fade the same way  
And I have no one, nothing  
And even the person I love is gone  
I want to give  
Voice!  
I want to yell, "I AM TAMAHOME!"  
But no one will believe me and   
Neither will I  
Suzaku has discarded me. I couldn't enter his shine  
Or near the treasures of my friends  
My friends.  
They used to be my friends, those brave warriors who are dead  
But even their spirits have sent me away  
I am alone  
I have nothing as I am nothing  
And anyone who saw me walking would see a boy  
Bloody and sweat-stained  
Looking at the ground  
Whispering "Tamahome"  
And they would wonder  
Who he could be, this boy  
And they would not know  
That he used to be Tamahome. Once, a long time ago  
In a dream world  
Where he loved and was loved  
Where he fought for his country  
Where he served the Suzaku  
There he was Tamahome  
But he is no longer  
Now  
He is just lost  
And longs to know why his god has rejected him and abandoned him  
And he is crying  
He had been too proud to cry  
But now he is crying to the heavens  
With a terrible  
Voice!  
What happened to me?  
Look at me!  
I am torn and tattered lost and I am no better than the dust  
Why?  
Why, Suzaku?  
I was your seishi. I still want to be. Why have you stripped me of my identity?  
Why have you taken my cause?  
Why am I alone?  
I could have survived whatever happened knowing  
That I must protect my Miko  
Who was much more than such  
My Miko, my love  
So why...  
Why did I end up alone?  
I can't push on anymore  
I want to know why this happened to me!  
I want to know  
Why?  
I want to scream and revolt and protest and I want a reason to be like this!  
I want to know why I'm dead alive.   
If I'm going to die I want to die!  
I'm dead inside and   
Living outside.   
I feel nothing but sorrow and keep walking  
I have to keep walking instead of lying down and stopping  
Why?  
Tell me! Why?  
Make it clear! Why?  
No one hears my   
Voice!  
There is only one place for me to go  
Maybe the ruler of the heavens, the creator of the Mountain,  
Maybe she will take me in  
Taikyoku-zan!  
Maybe there it can be explained.  
Taikyoku-zan is gone. All I can see is a barren mountain range. A lonely place  
Where the wind is blowing me over and crying  
She once said that only those pure of spirit  
Could see her mountain  
Does that mean...?  
As I am no longer Tamahome, am I no longer the person Tamahome was?  
Can I not even see Taikyoku-zan?  
And then behind me I hear a   
Voice!  
"Nakago-sama!"  
Dear gods who once protected me, please, tell me  
Please...I haven't become...  
Now all I want to do is  
Scream and  
Close my eyes and  
Fight to  
Hurt them  
Hurt whoever made me believe I was Tamahome  
For I'm not Tamahome  
Not anymore  
And that knowledge is a silver knife to  
Cut my heart to pieces  
The only proof left that I was the oni fighter of Suzaku is  
Tamahome's   
Voice  
  
Owari desu  
  
AN: *I* have been listening to Voice, which, despite my extreme dislike of Tamahome, is a song I'm quite fond of. One reason being that I can listen to it and pick out a *lot* of Japanese words, *including* voice, or "koe". I love Voice! 


End file.
